Journey Through Medical Challenges and Emotional Healing

For years, I battled confusing symptoms—back pain, gastrointestinal problems, and extreme fatigue. Each doctor I visited offered varying theories. Some blamed hormones or inflammation, prescribing steroids, while others suggested anxiety treatments like Xanax. The underlying message remained: my symptoms weren’t the problem, it was my reaction to them.

My health issues started at 14, with sudden back pain lacking an explanation. This agony eventually subsided, but returned harshly when I fell seriously ill at 25 during a trip. The symptoms—exhaustion and weakness—were just as mysterious. Photos from that time depict a pale, spent individual, a shadow of the vibrant person I had been.

Over the next decade, my life became a mission. I needed answers for my symptoms: extreme fatigue, weight gain, skin rashes, joint pain, and cognitive fog. I transformed into a chronic patient. My days revolved around medical appointments, tests, medications, and insurance battles. I explored everything from supplements to meditation, and a lifestyle focused on stress management. These efforts helped, but not enough.

I pressed on, showcasing what those with chronic illness call resilience. I met specialists continually, hoping for solutions. Some tried sincerely to help, while others politely dismissed me or worse, suggested psychosomatic causes without full analysis. Then I learned about medical gaslighting. According to a Mira survey, 72% of millennial women felt dismissed by healthcare providers. Another survey by SHE Media revealed 71% were told their symptoms were imagined. Deep down, I knew these feelings were real, though doubts crept in due to repeated professional dismissal.

Reaching the 36th doctor left me exhausted in body, mind, and financially. I was anxious and expectant of disappointment. Yet, this appointment was pivotal. The doctor thoroughly listened and tested, finally diagnosing me with late-stage neurological Lyme disease. The treatment plan, which included herbs and medications, improved my physical state, giving me validation I longed for.

As my physical health rebounded, people saw apparent recovery. Inside, I hid fear, anxiety, and grief over lost time and lost self-confidence. My husband identified the trauma experienced from prolonged illness, revealing its lingering grip on my life.

Health isn’t binary. Many Americans with chronic illnesses exist between sickness and wellness. With my regained insight, I termed this state ‘Medical Trauma Brain.’ Speaking publicly, many resonated with my story. We rarely discuss the psychological impact of long-term illness or healing from it. It requires relearning safety in one’s body and overcoming past stress through nervous system regulation.

I had engaged in talk therapy, which did not address my trauma. Discovering methods like cognitive behavior therapy, EMDR, and somatic experiencing allowed me to address my core issues and reset my nervous system. I am living proof that genuine healing is achievable. My health and happiness have recovered, and I’m committed to assisting others navigating between illness and health.

Amy Kurtz is a patient advocate and Lyme disease survivor. Her book, But You Look Fine, releases on June 9. The views in this article reflect the author’s own perspectives.

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