Reflections on Fathers and Mentors

On Father’s Day, contributor Charles Blow shares his experience of growing up without a father and the impact it had on him. Blow recalls the absence of his father, who left a void when his parents separated when he was five years old. His father’s struggle with alcoholism meant that their interactions were infrequent and tumultuous, often occurring late at night and disrupting the household.

Despite this loss, Blow highlights the positive influence of other men in his life—grandfathers, uncles, neighbors, and coaches—who provided the necessary guidance and support during his formative years. These men modeled composure and possibilities that Blow believes are essential for a boy’s development into adulthood.

Blow expresses a desire for all boys in similar positions to have a community of men who can provide this essential support. He mentions an organization called Son of a Saint in New Orleans, which aligns with this vision by serving boys whose fathers have died or are incarcerated. Founded in 2011 by Bivian “Sonny” Lee III, whose own father played for the New Orleans Saints and died when Lee was just three, the organization aims to transform the lives of boys by offering mentorship.

During Blow’s visit to Son of a Saint’s headquarters, he observed the organization’s working firsthand. The center provides not only mentors but also case teams to address the boys’ academic and emotional needs. In witnessing a wellness class, Blow saw boys engaging in activities promoting mental health without judgment or restrictive views of masculinity.

Blow interacted with 16-year-old twin brothers, Michael and Robert, who joined the program after their father’s passing. They expressed enthusiasm about attending summer camps funded by the organization and celebrated Father’s Day with their mentors, who have filled the void left by their father.

For more information about the organization, visit Son of a Saint or follow Charles M. Blow on Substack.