Zoe Reback’s Journey: Seeking Her Roots Through Adoption

Zoë Reback, a 25-year-old from North Carolina, was adopted from Vietnam as a baby. Despite a loving upbringing, she faced persistent questions about her origins. Now, as an adult, she is uncovering answers, although not all align with her hopes.

Life in New Jersey

Zoë grew up in a predominantly white suburb in New Jersey. Her adoptive parents provided a nurturing environment, but she was acutely aware of being adopted. As a child, her mother explained her adoption from Vietnam, but this information brought more questions than clarity.

The racial dynamics at school intensified these feelings. Limited diversity meant few peers looked like her, and she sometimes felt disconnected from her family.

Experiences of Alienation

On family vacations, Zoë often brought a friend who would often blend in better with her family, accentuating her own feelings of alienation.

She faced cruel remarks from peers about her appearance and adoption. These comments, especially about her birth mother, were deeply painful.

Family Dynamics

Although her adoptive parents had four biological children, her siblings were much older. By the time she turned eight, her parents had separated, adding complexity to her situation. The family split was traumatic, leaving little room to explore adoption-related questions.

Therapy from a young age helped Zoë deal with anxiety and depression. Her sense of being different was compounded by not resembling her family, which felt isolating.

The Search Begins

During the pandemic, a chance discovery in her mother’s files revealed her birth mother’s name: “Tran Thi My Trang.” Although she stored this name in her memory, she avoided discussing it with her mom to protect her feelings.

She clung to this knowledge for six years, contemplating her birth mother’s current life.

A Shocking Revelation

Earlier this year, Zoë explored the adoption file fully. She learned that her birth mother had used a false identity when relinquishing her. This news was disheartening, raising questions about potential danger, fear, or a desire for anonymity.

It’s common for women in Vietnam to use false names in these situations, Zoë’s mom later revealed during their talks.

This realization cast doubt on Zoë’s chances of meeting her birth mother, yet hope persisted. She recently took a DNA test, eager for answers.

Hope for Connection

If she finds her birth mother, Zoë is prepared for any outcome. Her primary desire is to know what her birth mother looks like and uncover her own heritage.

With the supportive parents she has, Zoë remains hopeful that the next name she discovers is genuine.