Calm Parenting: Strategies to Manage Stress

Your toddler wants apple juice, your older child asks for more screen time, and your boss has a last-minute request. Suddenly, your stress levels soar. If you find yourself losing your temper frequently, there is a way to calm down and reset. Licensed marriage and family therapist Cassidy Freitas suggests finding solace in the ‘margins’ of your day. These are the brief moments in between tasks.

Freitas, a mom of three, shares insights in her book, Mom Needs A Moment, published in June. She highlights the importance of creating mental space to balance emotions, allowing you to improve your interactions with family. This is particularly challenging for today’s parents, who, according to the U.S. Surgeon General’s 2024 advisory, are dedicating more time to childcare and work than before.

Common Parenting Challenges and Solutions

Scenario 1: Morning Chaos

Your big kid is late for school, your little one needs a diaper change, and you can’t find the keys. Stress builds up quickly.

Solution: Place your hand on your chest, take a deep breath, and reset.

Freitas recommends a simple technique: place your hand on your chest as a reminder to pause and breathe deeply. This helps reset your nervous system. After calming down, reflect on your anger. Is it due to a fear of judgment? Understanding the root cause can help make better future decisions.

Scenario 2: Missing Opportunities

You want to attend a work gathering, but it coincides with your child’s bedtime. You’re torn between personal and parental responsibilities.

Solution: Advise yourself as you would advise a friend.

Freitas suggests considering what advice you would give to a friend in the same situation. If feeling guilty about taking time for yourself, question this emotion. Emotions act as messengers. Maybe it’s important to show your kids the value of maintaining friendships. Self-compassion can help you strike a balance.

Scenario 3: Frustration with a To-do List

You’re one task away from completing your to-do list, but persistent interruptions from your kids lead to an outburst. Guilt follows.

Solution: Make amends by acknowledging mistakes with your children.

Freitas emphasizes that every parent can lose their cool, and it’s a learning opportunity for kids. Apologize and explain to your child how the outburst was unrelated to their actions. Repairing relationships fosters connection and teaches children to handle their emotions. Kids appreciate seeing their parents as human, making mistakes, and learning from them.

Additional Resources on Parenting and Stress Management

• Learn to fairly split household chores with insights from experts Eve Rodsky and Jacqueline Misla.
• Discover tips for dealing with parental burnout and keeping joy in family time.
• Get advice on transitioning back to work after family leave, balancing new parenthood with job responsibilities.

This digital story was edited by Malaka Gharib. Visual editing by CJ Riculan. Illustration by Malaka Gharib. Share your thoughts by emailing [email protected].

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