Journey Through Postpartum Depression

Returning to work after the birth of my son marked a profound period of depression for me. The thought of leaving my baby with another caregiver for 9 hours every day, combined with feelings of isolation, contributed significantly to my mental state.

I was involved in a postpartum depression study at New York University hospital. Six months into the study, the doctors observed a notable change in my responses. This shift wasn’t surprising to me, given the emotional challenges I faced with leaving my newborn.

As a professional writer, I cherished my career and was thankful for the income it provided. Yet, the dilemma of whether to continue working lingered. The significance of my paycheck seemed to diminish weekly, largely due to childcare expenses.

Welcome to Mildy Maternal: Diary of a Work In Progress Mom, a platform to check in on my journey as a new mother. Unsure of motherhood until facing infertility, I now find myself navigating the complexities of parenting.

I am a 34-year-old residing in New York City with my 14-month-old. Before becoming a parent, I had little experience with babies, which even makes my mom anxious about my parenting approach.

Over the past decade, I have established myself as a professional writer and dedicated 8 years to Newsweek. This job is integral to my identity, so much so that it was mentioned in my dad’s speech at my wedding.

Back in 2023, I couldn’t envision ceasing work. Motherhood hasn’t entirely changed my perspective. I still desire to work and doubt full-time stay-at-home motherhood would fulfill me. However, two months after my maternity leave ended, I almost quit my job, going as far as drafting multiple resignation emails.