A Mother’s Choice to Create a Family After a Split

A woman has shared the reasons behind her decision to have another child with her ex-partner despite their separation, defining it as the ‘right choice’ for her family. Sasha Goreshtein, who met the father of her children in her early 30s, did not initially envision family life unfolding as it did. The couple quickly grew close, and she became pregnant six months into their relationship. However, by their son’s second birthday, the couple had parted ways.

Despite the separation, Goreshtein and her ex remained connected. As she approached her late 30s, she reflected deeply on her family’s long-term plans. ‘My decision to have a second child was something I thought about deeply and over time,’ she told Newsweek. ‘I have always known I wanted two children, and was very aware of my age and timeline.’ Considering these factors, she decided the best option was to have another child with her ex-partner, who continued to be a loving figure in their child’s life.

While the romantic relationship was uncertain, Goreshtein distinguished between their on-and-off romance and their effective co-parenting. ‘I understood that even if the romantic side did not continue, we could still co-parent stably and respectfully,’ she explained. ‘There was already trust that we would both be present for our child, no matter what.’

Her decision focused on providing consistency for her son, rather than perfection. ‘For me, it was about choosing what felt most grounded for my son’s future,’ Goreshtein said. A significant aspect of this choice was giving her son a sibling. ‘I have a sister who is my closest person, and I couldn’t imagine growing up without that bond,’ she shared. ‘That was a big part of why I wanted the same for my son.’ Goreshtein reflected on her childhood friend, who felt alone as an only child in an unstable family setting. ‘She always said she felt there was no one who understood her family dynamic,’ Goreshtein recalled. ‘Her perspective stuck with me.’

While recognizing that every family is unique, Goreshtein hopes a sibling will provide her son with enduring connection and support. ‘Life can be unpredictable. I thought about what would offer my son lasting connection and support in various scenarios,’ she said. ‘At its core, it’s about family and having someone always in your corner.’

Reflecting on her journey, Goreshtein acknowledges the difficulties, especially during her second pregnancy. ‘It was challenging, but showed me a strength I hadn’t fully recognized in myself,’ she admitted.

Sharing her experience on Instagram (@hostwithsasha), Goreshtein aims to help others feel less isolated. Witnessing her sons together reinforces her belief in her decision. ‘When I see my sons, I feel fulfilled. Knowing they have each other and will grow up with that bond brings me peace,’ Goreshtein expressed. She advises those considering non-traditional paths to focus on what suits their situation. ‘It’s about making choices based on love, stability, and your children’s long-term wellbeing, and adapting when life changes,’ she recommended.