Living with Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder: One Woman’s Experience

Emily Blout, a 42-year-old from Washington, D.C., shares her journey of living with premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD). This severe mood disorder, related to hormonal changes, has been a part of her life since she began menstruating at age 15. According to statistics, PMDD affects about 1 in 20 women.

Blout explained that for nearly half of each month, her personality shifts dramatically. “For 12 to 14 days of every month, I become another person,” she described. During this time, her usual upbeat demeanor changes to sadness, anger, and a lack of focus. She experiences unpredictable bouts of tears, becomes irritable with her family, and struggles to concentrate while working.

Symptoms of PMDD

PMDD symptoms appear before menstruation and typically fade shortly after it begins. The International Association for Premenstrual Disorders (IAPD) lists several symptoms, including emotional swings, fatigue, low energy, changes in behavior and appetite, and feeling out of control.

Blout recounted episodes of intense anger and sadness. Once, during a trip to London, she felt such overwhelming anger towards her husband that she booked a separate $2,000 flight home, only to have the anger subside the following day. She also shared about two distinct types of sadness: the “stupid sadness,” where something trivial could trigger tears, and a deeper sadness that leaves her bedridden with brain fog.

“Last year,” Blout recalled, “I was so unfocused that I ran a red light, crashed my minivan, and walked away with a muddled mind.”

Searching for Treatment

Blout has tried various treatments over the years, including antidepressants and antipsychotics due to a misdiagnosis of bipolar disorder. About ten months ago, she began taking Lupron (leuprolide acetate), which is a hormone therapy that suppresses sex hormones. This treatment has induced chemical menopause but alleviated her PMDD symptoms.

“For the first time, I understand what ‘normal’ feels like,” Blout shared. “My life has undergone a positive transformation. I have clarity, and my children have their mom back.”

Facing Difficult Choices

Despite the relief she’s found, Blout now confronts a tough choice between surgical removal of some reproductive organs or trying new experimental drugs to prevent PMDD’s return. She expressed frustration, having exhausted other options such as antidepressants, birth control, and therapy.

“My husband and I are at a breaking point,” she admitted. “I have consulted with a surgeon about removing my ovaries and fallopian tubes, but I hope to avoid surgery.” Studies indicate that removing ovaries before menopause can increase the risk of memory issues, which heightens her hesitance.

Currently, Blout feels she’s in a waiting game for natural menopause. “Women with PMDD often experiment on ourselves,” she remarked. “PMDD lacks significant research funding for effective treatments, much less a cure.”

This ongoing journey highlights the challenges faced by those living with PMDD and the need for greater awareness and research funding.