Respect for Elders: A Lesson for Today’s Youth

When introduced to a friend’s young daughter, Lilly, I found myself taken aback at being addressed by my first name, “Joel.” At 67 and considering Lilly’s age of just 4, I had expected her to refer to me as “Mr. Alperson.” This encounter illustrates a broader concern about the respect, or lack thereof, being taught to younger generations.

Rising Discipline Problems

According to the National Center for Education Statistics, public schools have reported an increase in student discipline issues over the past decade. Notably, verbal abuse of teachers has doubled to 10%, while acts of disrespect have risen to 15%. Science Advances also notes a widespread belief that children today show less respect to elders than in previous generations. Moreover, a study by the American Psychological Association highlights that from 2019 to 2023, 57% of teachers nationwide faced at least one act of physical violence from students.

Importance of Parental Responsibility

To reverse these trends, parents need to instill discipline alongside love. A child who respects authority will likely fare better in professional and social situations. Dennis Prager emphasizes that while the Bible commands us to love various groups, it specifically requires us to honor our parents. This indicates the importance of setting a standard for respect within the family. Parents should model the respectfulness they wish to see in their children, ensuring they remain authoritative figures.

The Value of Proper Address

Language and manners are crucial indicators of respect. Calling adults by their first names diminishes the respectful hierarchy between youngsters and authority figures. Titles like “Pastor,” “Rabbi,” or “Dr.” should be accompanied by a last name, reinforcing respect rather than familiarity. While first-name terms may appear informal and friendly, they do not cultivate the same respect as more formal addresses.

Promoting Respect in Schools

In the past, students would stand when a teacher entered the classroom, a tradition now largely abandoned. Parents can support teachers by reinforcing respect for educators at home. Defensive reactions to teacher criticism can shield children from valuable advice, hindering their development. Allowing children to interrupt adult conversations also subtly undermines the value of adult interactions.

The Wisdom of Adults

Why should children learn to respect adults? Adults possess experiences and wisdom that children cannot yet fathom. They have faced life’s trials, from emotional challenges to significant losses. Acknowledging this wisdom as a source for valuable life lessons can guide children through their own challenges.

The Role of Communities and Society

Strong communities require the contributions of wise adults. As children’s capacity for self-guidance is limited, respecting authority ensures they receive crucial life lessons. It is not mere affection for parents that will enrich a child’s life, but respect for the knowledge and wisdom that elders offer.

“Ironically, while it may not seem loving to demand respect from one’s child, it offers among the best chances to provide what any caring parent would want most for their child. A good life.”

Joel Alperson is the Chief Business Officer of NeuralRegen, focusing on restoring functionality to Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s patients. He also serves as an editor for ‘The Rational Bible’ by Dennis Prager and was the National Fundraising Chairman for the United Jewish Appeal campaign. Together with his wife Conny, he parents four 8-year-olds.