The Preference of Keeping Baby’s Gender a Surprise

An expectant mother requested her doctor to refrain from revealing the gender of her baby during a prenatal screening call. Many parents opt not to learn their baby’s gender ahead of time for various reasons.

Research from Ohio State University indicates that first-time mothers who choose to be surprised by their baby’s gender tend to display a high level of ‘openness to experience’ and possess egalitarian gender role beliefs. Avoiding knowledge of the baby’s sex may help prevent gender stereotypes from influencing expectations, gifts, and parenting choices before the child’s birth.

Al Sheahan from Perth, Australia, faced a related situation during her second pregnancy. Sharing her story with Newsweek, Sheahan explained, “We didn’t discover the sex of our first child and planned to do the same for our second.” Calling to review results from the Non-Invasive Prenatal Testing (NIPT), she reminded her doctor, “I don’t want to know the sex. Please don’t tell me that.”

However, the doctor inadvertently informed her that she was expecting a girl, a revelation Sheahan tried to ignore, requesting again not to know. Despite her best efforts, Sheahan had already learned the gender. She expressed disappointment, having enjoyed the surprise with her first child’s birth and having no gender preference.

Reflecting on the incident, Sheahan acknowledges she feels no resentment toward the doctor and appreciates having a healthy baby. Her daughter, Nora Snowy Sheahan, named after her great grandfather, was born healthy and is approaching her first birthday.

Sheahan now enjoys a unique perspective, having both discovered and been surprised by the baby’s gender. Drawing from her experiences, she believes that finding out your baby’s identity at birth is profoundly special, especially when no gender preference exists. She found selecting a name easier, given the known gender, although she prefers the element of surprise.

Offering advice to those wishing to keep the baby’s sex undisclosed, Sheahan recommends clearly reminding each healthcare provider when discussing related matters, as accidental disclosures can occur. “Everything happens for a reason,” she mentioned, recognizing her daughter was meant to be theirs regardless of when the news arrived.